In Unrealistic Goals I spoke about the importance of setting unrealistic goals. The idea behind it is that if you aim high, you’ll fall a little short but still get a pretty good result.
However, failure can be quite disheartening. If we never hit our targets, we can get discouraged and give up altogether. Sometimes it’s better to be a bit more realistic with your expectations in order to achieve long-term success.
Meet yourself halfway
If I tell someone to cut all sugar out of their diet, they might manage it for a week or two, but eventually they’ll crumble. Something’s gotta give, right? Getting a sugar addict to cut all chocolate from their diet is far too unrealistic.
But what if I told that person to cut back instead, and restrict themselves to a single piece of chocolate a day? They’re far more likely to stick to it. You’re meeting them halfway and still letting them have a little bit. That little bit of chocolate might be enough to get their sugar fix, and they may find it easier to avoid temptation through the day knowing full well they can have chocolate later if they really need it.
This is why going cold turkey isn’t always the best tactic for kicking an addiction. A slow, gradual weaning process normally works better.
What swimming taught me
In my early twenties I always began the new year by committing to get into great swimming shape. I saw the benefits of swimming and knew that if I stuck to a plan, I’d get the fitness and physique I wanted.
What I noticed was that around March or April, I’d burn out and fail, and never enter the pool again until I tried the following year. I failed because I put such high expectations on myself: my target was at least three swims a week. The problem was, I didn’t like swimming that much. I just did it because I knew the benefits. Driving to the pool, getting changed, doing a 30-minute swim and drying off again, three times a week, was a huge commitment. It was simply too hard.
One year I tried something else. I set the benchmark lower, at just two swims a week. That was a whole lot easier to commit to, and by December I was still swimming twice a week. Yes, I wasn’t swimming as often, but I lasted the entire year, and I was in the best shape of my life.
At that point you may want to push yourself a bit further and see if you can manage three. If you ever feel yourself faltering – missing workouts or giving up altogether – it’s time to drop back down to two.
Failure hurts
Humans have a natural inclination to avoid failure. Failure hurts. It punctures our ego, and over time those constant hits can be demoralising, so we just give up.
It’s time to stop reaching for the stars and instead grab that low-hanging fruit.
It’s always important to aim high, but if you’re being met with discouragement, or simply giving up, then it’s time to turn that thinking on its head.
